Saijen SilverWolf
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Location: Upper North East Tennessee
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What do you do when you're angry at someone?
For right now, I'm not going to post my thoughts on this topic. I want to read more than type.....so, y'all have at it.
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
~~*~~ .~~*~~
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8/31/2007, 10:57 pm
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Firlefanz
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
I have a habit (which I'm trying to shake) to rant and rave to friends about that. Or I post either at Runboard, in my LJ or in my private diary (not online).
I want to do something else. I want to learn to tap on this and simply let go of the anger so I can see things more clearly.
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9/1/2007, 6:14 am
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nyquil junkie
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
how angry, exactly, am I at this person?
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10/21/2007, 12:52 am
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Saijen SilverWolf
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
Well, let's run the gamut....
You're just aggrivated at them.
You're really ticked off.
You're about to blow a gasket.
You're so angry that you feel like you want to do some serious damage to them or their property.
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
~~*~~ .~~*~~
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10/21/2007, 3:57 am
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Saijen SilverWolf
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
When I'm just aggrivated at someone, I do my best to just let it roll off my back.
Case in point...my best friend is in disagreement with something I think is perfectly fine. She's kind of blown me off about it. It aggrivates me, but she is entitled to her opinion of the situation, as am I. No biggie, really.
When I'm really ticked off at someone, I do my best to think through whatever has ticked me off...to see if there is some fault in my own thinking, or if they are just being petty. Sometimes it takes me a while to go through that process, because I have to get past the being ticked off part, which, at times, is difficult for me, depending on the situation.
When I'm about to blow a gasket, I usually call my husband if he's at work, or talk to him if he's home..lol. Unless it's him that's got me upset (which is very rare). He calms me down enough to where I can think a bit straighter, and sometimes he'll almost "counsel" me..asking questions..making me think about the situation. Sometimes he agrees with me, sometimes he doesn't. Usually after talking with him, I either see the other person's point, or am more solid on my point.
If it ever gets to the point that I want to hurt the person, then I talk immediately with my psych therapist. That's only happened twice (many years ago). I usually don't allow it to get to this point..and how I stop that is use of meditation, turning my attention to something else, less stressful, talking it out, or, at times I have gone outside and taken a stick or some such and sling it as far and as hard as I can. Living on over 100 acres, it's easy to be able to do that.
It takes a lot to make me truly angry, but when I get that way, I'm in, all the way usually.
Depending on the situation, I will also disengage myself with the person who's angered me, if at all possible. Since I can't work, I don't have to worry about working with someone who angers me. If someone angers me to the point that I want to seek revenge, then I need to not have anything to do with that person...for my own sake. I don't need negative Karma kicking my rear because of something stupid that I did out of anger.
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
~~*~~ .~~*~~
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10/21/2007, 4:07 am
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KaliMorgan76
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
Depends on what I am angry about,
If it is something minor - I let it go - no need to ruin a friendship or relationship (family, etc.) if it is something minor and silly.
If it is something that keeps happening - I talk to whomever is doing or saying what I find offensive and tell them nicely the first time and I try to figure out a solution with them to avoid it happening again.
Now if it is something big or it is something I talked to them and they are just doing it for the sake of ticking me off - I generally give them hell verbally. I may even decide to avoid them or stop associating with them if I am able.
If it is work related - I talk to them, if that does not work, I talk to my boss. That usually wraps it up quick.
--- “Never think that whatever is around you is beyond your comprehension, no matter how complicated it seems.
To attain total freedom, learn how to undo the web of illusion that has convinced you that you are not free…”
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6/11/2009, 4:46 pm
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TexasMadness
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
My husband said something to me once about not fighting about things that don't matter tomorrow. When I get really mad at someone, I think "will this matter tomorrow"? Sometimes it will - the person has broken my trust and that will matter, the person has ruined a chance for me, etc. But most of the time it is something that really doesn't matter at all. So that's the first step for me!
Once I have determined that it "really matters". I'm usually much more calm about it because I've had time to think. Then I just have to handle each situation on its own.
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6/11/2009, 4:48 pm
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KaliMorgan76
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
Taking a break from the "argument" to think about it from both sides always works for me. I often find I am neither right nor wrong that we both have valid points and I try to acknowledge those points while at the same time try to explain what I don't find valid.
Shrinks say fight - just don't fight dirty - which is what I think is the best way if you have to - no dirty name calling, no insults, etc. Keep to what is bugging you and don't drag in old stuff long gone, especially if it is totaly unrelated. Your mother ticked me off ten years ago and you did not defend me is not relevant to your hubby forgetting to do the dishes today. So it is not cool to drag that into the fight.
--- “Never think that whatever is around you is beyond your comprehension, no matter how complicated it seems.
To attain total freedom, learn how to undo the web of illusion that has convinced you that you are not free…”
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6/11/2009, 5:23 pm
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Saijen SilverWolf
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
Kali, dragging old issues into a fresh one is called "keeping score".....never keep score! and I totally agree with you on that. Don't drag old nasties into new ones. Never solves the problem, just makes it bigger.
--- Blessed Be,
~*~ Saijen ~*~
~~*~~ .~~*~~
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6/13/2009, 1:29 am
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KaliMorgan76
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Re: What do you do when you're angry at someone?
100 to 79 is not healthy at all
Of course it can be fustrating when you got a guy doing the same thing 10 years later knowing darn well he is irritating the living dickens out of you. I like my daughter's solution - tackle and attack. Of course I think my son and husband like it to. Because it does not seem how many times you attack them - they just end up laughing their hyenna heads off and saying mercy only to to do it that expectant gleam in their eyes - just knowing what is coming for them when they are doing it yet again!
--- “Never think that whatever is around you is beyond your comprehension, no matter how complicated it seems.
To attain total freedom, learn how to undo the web of illusion that has convinced you that you are not free…”
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6/15/2009, 8:46 pm
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