TexasMadness
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Pagan Parenting
How many of you have or are raising your children in a decidedly "pagan" way? Or if you aren't pagan, then in what ever religion or tradition you follow?
My parents raised me with a reverence for nature and an open mindedness towards things unknown. I don't know that I would add much for my own future children. Perhaps a bit more on attention to your own personal "spirit" as I have found that to be important to break away from the typical auto-pilot way of life.
Other than that, I don't have a real tradition to teach my future kids since I don't follow a set path.
How do you feel about raising kids in a way that is so different from mainstream and might possibly even be seen as "evil"?
I've heard the horror stories of one parent losing custody in a divorce because of their unwholesome religion. I think these are extremely rare cases. But what about just the day to day things that a kid has to deal with when most likely they will be in a predominantly Christian setting?
I personally had no issues with it growing up.
My aunt and uncle and a cousin that is the exact same age are very strict, devout and outspoken Christians, but we only saw each other once or twice a year. I just thought it was their weird thing.
There was another family in the neighborhood that went to church on Wednesday nights, so I knew I couldn't play with them that night. But that was the end of it - no real discussion of the topic with them.
Other than that, I don't actually remember anyone talking about Christianity or God to me until I was in 7th grade and went to an Episcopal school. So I don't think I was at all bothered by being raised different amongst Christians or that they had any "influence" over me.
My 'niece' is a child of a Buddhist and a non-practicing Jew (probably an atheist, but we've never sat down and talked about it). She talks about God all the time because her friends teach her (she is 6). She literally sees him as the man in the clouds that makes it rain, and is mad if you do bad things, etc. It's strange how much she picked up on it. Her parents are a little amused by it and just explain to her that they don't believe that but let her make her own decision (i.e., they don't tell her it's hogwash and to stop talking about it). I think my husband would put his foot down if one of our future kids talked about God like that...
So, thoughts?
Last edited by TexasMadness, 6/2/2009, 8:17 pm
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6/2/2009, 8:17 pm
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KaliMorgan76
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Registered: 05-2009
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 Re: Pagan Parenting
My husband is Baptist, I am pagan - we have family in just about every religious category. AT the moment my children are taught a broad range of beliefs - they are not limited to one. We have discussed many different belief systems and continue to do so. I found that being open and honest about all religions for my family is the best policy that way every one's beliefs are respected - in the family and outside of it. 
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“Never think that whatever is around you is beyond your comprehension, no matter how complicated it seems.
To attain total freedom, learn how to undo the web of illusion that has convinced you that you are not free…”
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6/2/2009, 8:56 pm
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TexasMadness
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Re: Pagan Parenting
Sounds like a very healthy upbringing Kali!
I think the main problem with very religious upbringings is when you are taught that there is but one and only one right way to do things. Kids love to rebel and that's a prime choice if you are strict about it. Or you get kids that are closed minded about things. Neither ones is a good outcome!
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6/2/2009, 10:52 pm
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sapphyre skye
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Re: Pagan Parenting
I don't have kids yet, but I know there won't be any control of their actions and beliefs "Because ________ says so". My purpose as a parent is to guide and teach them to make good decisions and to think for themselves, not to control and dictate. No auto-pilots here. 
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6/3/2009, 4:40 pm
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muladzh
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Re: Pagan Parenting
The greatest threat to any child, is not the opinion of philosophy or belief the parent gives, but the manipulation external sources places on the child. I have seen a situation, recently, in south western Texas, where the Pagan parents of a child were openly contradicted by social workers, who attempted, for months, to find an excuse to remove the child from that 'heathen' household. Also, if you are not lucky enough to be able to home school your children, influences of the school will effect your child's beliefs.
I feel strongly, that if the parent is Pagan, then the child should be brought up that way, and taught the beliefs of the parent. That way, the child can have the safety of a true belief, and be protected from the false ones. If, when they grow up, they find the false ones better, they will change to them, but you will have done your duty by your child, and The Goddess.
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6/3/2009, 5:30 pm
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KaliMorgan76
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Re: Pagan Parenting
I agree - while I was with the Baptist faith, we still discussed other religions - Muslim, Jewish, Pagan, Buddhist, etc.
I wanted them to understand that while they can choose whatever religion they wanted - they needed to understand there were people of many religions and that no one had the right to be derogatory about religion, etc.
I was never comfortable with the "there is only one path" nor the follow up statement - "and it is mine". Since no one can prove that there is one path must less their path is The Path, I think it is rather silly to claim it and even sillier to tell others they have to learn it and sell it as such as well.
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“Never think that whatever is around you is beyond your comprehension, no matter how complicated it seems.
To attain total freedom, learn how to undo the web of illusion that has convinced you that you are not free…”
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6/3/2009, 8:38 pm
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PerpetuallyCurious
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Re: Pagan Parenting
My own immediate and extended family are VERY christian. I am pretty much estranged from the whole bunch due to my beliefs and don't really care.
My wife's family are very accepting of whatever and don't really have any set beliefs.
My wife herself is the same way as her family. She is perfectly content to follow my lead in things (that can sound derogatory but is not meant that way).
As to my own beliefs, I believe in Nature. I believe in Energy. Beyond that I am open minded and don't believe there is any set "way".
TexasMadness wrote:
How many of you have or are raising your children in a decidedly "pagan" way? Or if you aren't pagan, then in what ever religion or tradition you follow?
My parents raised me with a reverence for nature and an open mindedness towards things unknown. I don't know that I would add much for my own future children. Perhaps a bit more on attention to your own personal "spirit" as I have found that to be important to break away from the typical auto-pilot way of life.
Other than that, I don't have a real tradition to teach my future kids since I don't follow a set path.
I agree with your parents. We have two kids here and number three is due in 6 weeks. That is how we've raised them and will continue to raise them.
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6/4/2009, 5:24 am
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KaliMorgan76
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Re: Pagan Parenting
My husband's family is strongly Baptist - I have chosen after talking to my husband to keep my pagan inclinations to myself while around them. My house has always had books dealing with all religions - it is library so they know that I am more accepting of other religions. I think that how to proceed with family is individual - my family's side does not care what I am while his does on the surface. I still do my family stuff with his side but I don't discuss my religion, etc. I certainly don't ask them over to do a ritual. But then again I don't ask my side either. But the truth is they generally don't discuss their beliefs either - meaning they don't discuss their biblical teachings, etc. When it comes to stuff like meal prayers I don't mind praying with them when I am at their house - my children know a really cute prayer that I allow them to recite in our own house when they want to.  I participate in most "rituals" of those while I am in their house be it praying over dinner, abstaining from something, etc. It is more respect for them than anything, just like in my house - I do as I please but I do allow others to express themselves with praying, etc. if they so choose.
I never really looked at religion as false or true - each religion holds truths for those who follow it and that is all that should matter. Most of the time I think really is no one's business what religion I practice in my home, etc. Certainly not my co-workers, community, etc. So I generally don't discuss with them - I may if it comes up and there is a lot of openness or acceptance, but I never felt compelled to go up to everyone to proclaim what I am or am not.
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“Never think that whatever is around you is beyond your comprehension, no matter how complicated it seems.
To attain total freedom, learn how to undo the web of illusion that has convinced you that you are not free…”
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6/11/2009, 4:35 pm
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